I just legitimately don't care about the internet.
I don't care about what someone’s presence is,
but I care cuz it makes me anxious.
I used to think the internet made me anxious because
I was jealous,
or confused about me
on the internet,
but now i'm thinking that i get anxious because it terrifies me.
it terrifies me in the same way that dj's are no longer called dj's, but performers,
and that i should inherently know this.
the same way that people make funny pictures out of lines and solid colors
and add words
or an ironic (i'm sorry , just old)
image

Or don’t use capital letters (like now)
and think it's funny.
I don't understand,
i didn't grow up in a pack of wolves,
or in complete isolation
(but maybe that’s why-an outlier)
but i don't want to live in a world where
my peers care more about the incredible SHIT PILE of nothing and it’s irrelevance to breathing,
or loving.
I didn't grow up on 4chan, i just learned what reddit was a few months ago,
and I get it,
it's useful, it's good
But there is BETTER.

Haven’t we all felt better?

I want to know, how much time is spent monitoring what photos of self go up on facecrack?
were you born "cool" or did you spend a lot of time wiki'ing useful references and associations to life situations you haven't ever lived through?
Does anyone even know what they actually like anymore?

Does anyone actually like themselves anymore?

I'll forget your name as you're telling it to me
so I sure as shit won't quote trotsky
and then talk about lenin like they ever personally gave me any wisdom.

my mother is constantly calling my name out
and showing me slews of men on match.com and lesbian women she's turning down on okcupid

"you're not interested, are you? 31, gay, cute"

my mother lives an online life more similar to you, my peer, than to me.

and instead of  her being around making me feel like a 23 year-aged 5 year old,
I am really glad,

really really glad
that it is a human annoyance,
a voice,
that i am home right now
reading treasure island,
wishing i was reading something better
but not really wishing that at all
behind a door propped open a little
and my dogs whining
and my mother whining,
instead of being in an entire room of
people like you

 trapped inside a

living
fucking
chatroom.