She can tell the way I move,
how I close the door to interaction.
Used to seeing swirls of gray matter,
turning into smoke,
before anything concrete can find form.
I want to find form with you,
in the way of daily routine
and being around each other.
I like you and the way you think
but my mind is muddled with precautions,
because I'm out of practice,
because I'm afraid of sexuality,
because I'm afraid of bodies learning together
things they've learned before.
But she knows how I am,
maybe better than I do.
And I tell myself not to fuck this up,
like I sometimes do.
