I wanna get drunk-1
Oh my god. I wanna bath in whiskey sours-2

-results of dealing with children and "helping people" non-profit jobs

I feel like vomiting...I have all day. This nervous feeling in my stomach and everything I look at makes me want to throw up.

I keep falling in love and doing the wrong things, I keep rushing things because the world is terrifying and I keep messing things up because of it.

Now I'm stuck making things work because a big part of me wants to but the other part keeps telling me to be alone so I can only make wrong decisions that effect me,

and so I can't blame anyone else.

I cannot escape boredom. Cannot escape cringes. I cannot escape dog hair on my bed, on my clothes, on my eyelashes.

I can't.

Help it!