All these things you are missing. All these things the people I never really wanted to count on have stepped up and been here for. It's amazing when you realize who has truly been good to you, and why.

I remember spitting on your face out of love,
out of sexual desire,
and now
I just want to fucking spit on it, period.

This will be my first death,
along a long line of terrible,
and my father did not hesitate to continue on
without asking.
I stroked his silly one piece of hair,
I told him I loved him
and I could tell he could hear me and all of us.
They say people wait to say goodbye,
but I never really believed that till now.