Raw meat

There is an enveloped pouch between where fat cradles my vaginal lips and where my adult coat of fur gets silently snipped away.
This place is unsafe but made holy to let occasional love in.
I want to hold you closer to my chest, but my throat fights dirtier, without the fears of cancer or threat of holes for speaking.
Will you let me hold you forever, for as long as we can,
between bosom and breath
where I can feel your whispers leak
softly into my neck.

Thank you new yorker for entertaining me always and thank you boyfriend for knowing me so.

Did I make myself quiet?
And watched from outside
as I
coo'ed
and
caw'ed
the musician of my vocal chords.

I watched videos of myself
too much,
the same noises now as
when I was a little girl
hogging the camera and putting on lipstick
to smack around the lens.

Did I make myself quiet?
Hoping that others would know
through my inabilities,
while shouting "Viva la revolution!",
to just hold me till I felt OK again.

And when you finally do hold me,
and it feels nice,
does it feel nice?
I suddenly don't feel very independent anymore,

and the worst part is
I make myself that way.

I asked you to make me feel
quiet,
so do I make myself this way?

Touch, touch, baby!
Tickle, tickle.
He puts my scarf in his mouth,
just the fringe
and I grab it from him
to shove the soft material
up my nose.
Getting the same satisfaction
I did
when I too,
was only 6 months old.

http://whitmanarchive.org/multimedia/image115.html?sort=year&order=ascending&page=9

naked whitman?

There is always a fear in being around happy people.
The ones who don't need distractions to live
or see beauty in the actual forms in front of them.
It's a worry,
that I am using you,
my contented friends,
to see if I can succumb
my mind into you.
Because when I'm with you I am irreparably
one giant distraction,
not grace,
and not my should be isolation.
I am not comfortable here
because I don't see these things
as roses.
But I can't keep crying all the time.

I distrust the public,
I don't believe in what you do.

Any of you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OQ-XVTzBMvQ&feature=relmfu